My experience with herbal remedies for depression

If you've known me very long, or read this blog much, you know that I tend to prefer the home remedy (that is ideally also natural) to visiting the doctor.  We have a standing joke at our home that I don't take a sick kid to the doctor unless I honestly believe that they might not fully recover.

So it follows that I would do research on depression.  In reality, I think most of my research on herbal ways to treat depression was in an effort not to admit that I was struggling with depression.

I haven't, ever, taken much in any attempt to treat depression.  This is mostly due to two reasons. 1) Any depression I've fought has always been somewhat mild.  2) I've been breastfeeding or pregnant for over eight consecutive years now.

That said, my research into treating depression herbally yielded one fact that surprised me.  Not that it'll surprise you -- I'm just a dunce.

Depression is treated as "fatigue".

Now, when I think about it, especially recently, I've felt like life really sucks.  And I've realized that it feels this way because I'm tired.  Really really tired.  And when you're tired, you lack motivation to keep doing anything.  It all gets blah.

It makes me wonder if having hope requires a certain amount of energy.

Anyway, enough blabbering, on to the herbs.  Here's what's recommended by the green book:

Cayenne
Ginseng
Gotu Kola
Kelp
Peppermint leave
Ginger root


When I'm pregnant or nursing, I feel comfortable taking a ginger root and kelp blend with a tiny amount of cayenne in it.  I don't feel comfortable taking a very big amount of cayenne when I'm pregnant.   This blend helps me when I'm feeling low on energy and cold.  I'm hoping to increase the amount of cayenne in it now that I'm not pregnant and very nearly done nursing.

Ginger root is also great for pregnancy nausea -- by far the best thing I've found for it yet.  I buy it as a candy and suck it.  Yum!

And peppermint tea is wonderful all by itself.

I have never tried ginseng or gotu kola.  But I think I'll plan to pick up some ginseng next time I visit the bulk herbs store.  From my meager amount of research, it's kind of a "good for whatever ails ye" herb.

I've had wonderful results from taking bee pollen for mild depression.  You can get it in capsules or in bulk powder.  I get it in capsules.  I would describe it's effect as just taking the edge off.  It gives a small boost in energy -- just enough so that I can function again.  It's very much safe during breastfeeding.  But not so much during pregnancy.  It's been associated with preterm labor, and I also had preterm labor when I took it while pregnant (though I suspect that it was because I overdid it with the energy boost).

Web searches will point you to the popular St. John's Wart for depression.  And while I know very little about it, it's supposed to work well.  I also noted that folic acid (Vitamin B9) is reported to be low in depressed individuals -- so eat your dark leafy greens!   Finally, fish oil was suggested as aiding in recovery from depression.  I found this humorous, since I've been taking fish oil regularly for the first time this winter, and have struggled more this winter with depression (or at least negative thoughts) than for a long time.  But fish oil is good for you, whether or not it actually helps in this way.


Honestly, though, this is only a small portion of the ammunition to fight the battle for your mind.  Learn to take your thoughts captive, and try some of my other suggestions.

Staying crazy in a depressing world

I wanted to call this post "Staying sane in a crazy world"  But then I realized that not many who know me would actually consider me not crazy.

As one who has struggled with post-partum depression, I thought I'd share a few of the things that I've used over the past four (nearly five now) years to avoid re-entering depression.  They're things you'd probably find on any site talking about depression, especially post-partum depression and Christian sites.  But I think that perhaps it'll be slightly valuable to share my experience anyway - even if only to give glory to God for what He's done and is doing in my life.

I've heard it said that 100 percent of depression is anger turned inward.  I think it was this that kept me from admitting that I was depressed, even to myself, when I was.  I didn't want to admit that I was angry.  I'm not sure I had any idea that I was angry.  I'm not convinced that's true by the way.  Some depression, especially post-partum - really can be horomonal.  But mine was related to anger.

At the time, I'd been married a couple of years, had two babies, a very busy husband and high expectations of what both he and I and my life should be like.  He, in particular, didn't live up to my fairy tale ideas (neither did I, but my thoughts were more accusing toward him).  I was just finding out that the man I was married to wasn't the same as the man I thought I had married.  (Never mind that I wasn't the same either.  Marriage changes you).

That began about two years in the dimness of a mild depression.  It wasn't major, and I don't think it's really necessary to go into what the depression looked like for me.  I'm guessing that everyone's depression is a bit different.  Mine was mostly negative thoughts and lack of energy/ambition.

When it lifted, though, my life changed, and I recognized that I needed to take steps to reduce the likelihood of ever going back there.  Here's some of the steps I've taken (or things I've learned), in no particular order.

• I started doing something outside of what had been my world (that is, the house).  I had to find something that I didn't have to do as a wife and mother, but that made me feel like I was doing good.  For me, this was taking a part time job - it used my mind, took advantage of my education, and gave me something that I could be good at.  It's pretty easy in a home to see a lot of failure in yourself and others. Now when I think about this for others, I think that volunteering somewhere is almost the perfect solution.  I needed to get out of myself and do some good for someone else.
• Recognize when I'm vulnerable.  For me it's not so much a certain time of the month as when I'm tired.  It goes without saying that the most tiring times are just after having a baby, so I'm susceptible to post-partum depression.
• Get some exercise.  When my fifth baby was born, I felt especially on the brink of going down again.  He had a lot of preemie problems, and it would have been easy to blame myself for them.  I had troubles maintaining a house and work, and had financial worries too.  So I started walking every day, just a short distance.  The fresh air and circulating blood and mini-escape really do wonders.
• Eat right.  Pay attention to what you've been eating when you start to get depressed.  Sugar sends me down.  Usually in the form of chocolate.  Not that I'll give up chocolate, but at least I recognize it, right?
• Own the anger.  Learn to forgive.  You cant forgive if you won't admit there's a problem.  In my case, there really wasn't -- he wasn't sinning against me.  But I still had to forgive him.  Most people have real wrongs to forgive, and people that don't deserve forgiving.  Jesus asks us to forgive them because He forgave us.  We can do this for Him.  And He helps us.
• Focus on others.  Intentionally bless someone else.  I remember it taking all my energy to go visit a neighbor during this time.  It still amazes me how much that visit meant both to her and to me.  Yes, this is really the first one again.  I really think God created us to live not a self-centered life, and that we stay sane when we do so.
• Be thankful.  Romans 1:18-21 is, I think, a root of many bad things, especially divorce.  Here's the progression.  1) forget to honor God as God (ie, He's the center of the universe, not me), 2) stop giving thanks 3) become futile in your thinking - "it's no use", "he'll always be like this" - this is actually losing hope 4) darkening of your foolish mind.  Yep.  The great thing about this progression is that it's reversible.  Starting to notice all the little gifts God gives is a way to honor God as God.  Suddenly things aren't so hopeless.
• Remember that God sees.  Matthew 6 talks about God seeing when we fast, or give, or pray.  It encourages us to do good in secret.  My problem was that my doing good was too secret.  No one in their right mind really cared how many diapers I changed in a day, and I wanted some affirmation.  I had to learn the truth that God does see.  And more than that, He notices.  He notices that I changed that diaper with patience and love, not a spiteful attitude.  He notices that I was up three times last night and am really trying not to be snippy this morning.  And he rewards those deeds done in secret.  It's worth doing things just because God will see them.  This has saved me from becoming bitter dozens of times.  It's far better to let the anger go (especially the petty anger, which is usually my problem), knowing that God sees how hard it is to let it go and will reward it.
• Memorize scripture.  It gives your mind something to do when you're too upset (or too wired from the chocolate) to sleep, or when you'd rather stew on your anger that you won't admit you have.... not that I know anything about this of course!
• Do something to improve your situation.  I read this quote on humblemusings.com, and now I can't find it.  It was something to the affect that someone who lived for a long time surviving in the wilderness said that the key to staying sane in long term intense situations is to always be doing something to better your situation.  I wish I could find that quote.  Last weekend I was having a huge pity party -- life just doesn't work out like I wish it would sometimes, you know?  I was in the bathroom pitying myself to tears, and remembered this admonition.  I ended up re-arranging furniture, and the new arrangement really is helping life be more smooth.  Not only did it give me some needed physical exertion, but it improved my situation. 
• Set aside a regular time and place to pray.  Beth Moore suggested this as a key to staying sane as a Christian businesswoman.  I think  it's key to a lot of things, businesswomen are just so busy that it's more obvious.  For me, I didn't have a place, and it kept me from really taking the time.  So I instituted the morning walk.  That's my place and time to pray.  Nothing else.  Well, except walk.  I don't use it to review my memory work, or to stew about problem or to plan my day.  Instead I notice the trees and thank God for their unique shapes, and pour out my heart (that is, my whining) to Him and such.  It's a good way to start the day.  I wish I did it more regularly, but now that it's cold, I usually stay in bed.
• Write.  Blogging has become a good emotional balancer for me.  I have a private blog for things to public to write here, but most things that I take the time to write out are actually here.  It forces me to thing through things in something that seems to me like a logical manner.  And it gets things out of my system. 
• Vent. I used to think that if I said something (or otherwise got some frustration or worry out of my system), it would make my fake problem more real, give me more credence to be mad and just make everything worse.  I'm learning that's not the case.  If I can vent while remaining respectful (this is a delicate skill), then it can be very good and helpful.  My husband is a good listener, and will let me work through something verbally to him.  I don't use this often, but the few times I have, it has been helpful.  The key for me is to do it in a way that is still respectful and kind and even honoring.  Which is probably why I rarely use it.  
• control your mental input. I had to learn that I don't stay sane if I watch the news. It's too scary for me, it makes me paranoid. Do what's necessary to "take every thought captive", and prevent the bad ones from dominating.  
• Keep a sense of humor. Enjoying a good laugh lifts a lot of stress.

Okay, that's it for tonight.  I need to go to bed.

What I've been up to

So, I know, I know. It's been forever. I'm sorry.

Here's a few of the things I've been busy with in my absence.


Sewing a wedding dress for my sister-in-law.



The hem was a little wavy. Wish I knew how to prevent that. But overall, I was happy with it. I learned a lot in the process.



I also made a Mondrian dress.


I love this dress, and am really proud of the way it turned out, even though the lines are pretty wavy. I made it for a contest that I didn't even come close to winning.


Here's the before shot. I fused wool sweaters onto this foundation dress. It was fun.


Tommy got his first major injury by pulling a bowl of hot soup off of the table onto himself.


We had our major User's Group conference at work, which meant a few really long workdays for me. Our annual party for our customers was a cowboy theme. I had a lot of fun dressing up in cowboy boots, a western shirt, chaps and a hat. Of course I didn't get any pictures of me. You can see that Tommy was already mostly healed up (this was less than a week after the burn), and doesn't he look cute in the hat? (The one I wore was black, but they gave out these straw hats at the party).

A few hours after the User's Group conference was over, we drove up to a wedding rehearsal. We contributed a big batch of Maghani Muktar (Indian Butter Chicken -- better known as Chicken Curry) to the dinner. It was yummy.



The next day they got married. It was one of my favorite weddings of all time. So spunky, authentic and pure. The bride had never been kissed. Congratulations, you two!


Lisel was the flower girl.



I made my own dress to wear to the wedding -- my first time making a dress for ME.


It was also a learning experience, but I'm okay with how it turned out. I'll probably make it again. This one was out of a navy blue sheet.


Now I'm just catching my breath. All these events took place in a three-week time frame. Also during that time, just unpictured, was a trip to the Omaha Zoo, a few days camping in a cabin (so much fun!), and our family's big annual Fall Fest.


I have dreams of starting a new blog -- really a replacement for this one, with a different name. We'll see if I do it. If so, I'll let you know...

The Jesus Song

I like family rituals. And we have many of them.

One of my favorites is the bedtime ritual. Each day, at bedtime, after the kids are theoretically ready for bed, we gather together in the living room. Then each child in turn says the verse for the week and picks a song that we as a family sing. Finally, we pray and the kids are off to bed.

The other night, Josephine was the first to say the verse and pick the song. She said the verse perfectly (as usual). It was Psalm 112:1 "Praise the Lord. How blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in his command". She decided to sing make up her own song to sing, so the rest of us just listened.

"Jesus, Jesus, I know you, and you know me and I love you and you love me. You're my savior and you save us, Jesus, Jesus". It was very sweet and pretty.

Next was Matt. He, too, said the verse almost flawlessly, then requested to make up his own song. He started off singing sweetly.

"Jesus, Jesus"

Then his whole body flailed, and his song turned to a series of gun and bomb and smoke and fight noises as his feet kicked and his arms swung wildly.

Then it was over. The entire "song" about three seconds. I about died laughing.


81. Family rituals
82. Songs to Jesus
83. Ripe raspberries - so sweet off the bushes

84. Our first chicken egg!
85. Two jars of wild grape jelly, from a small bag of wild grapes that God allowed us to find, even though we were tardy by nearly a month from their normal season.
86. A more-rapidly-healing-than-usual bout with poison ivy, after hunting said wild grapes
87. Neighbors with apple and pear trees, who don't want their fruit
88. A juicer, given to me years ago, that makes such quick work out of apples and such
89. Fresh apple juice
90. New recipe: candy apple jelly

Thousand Gifts, part 6

61. A gentle father, teaching his son to mow the yard
62. A son, eager to learn and contribute to the household
63. Men teaching boys to love hard work

64. Sweet Sunday, once again sweet
65. (and the namesake meets again, little Tommy)
66. wide smiles
67. curly tops
68. guitar lessons
69. pleasant, filling fellowship
70. Calm tummies, even after eating too many sweet rolls and sweet corn

71. Young love
72. The eagerness and anticipation of two upcoming weddings
73. Family, serving together in preparation
74. A dress-cutting party
75. Wedding shower reminders on making marriage last long

76. Garden produce, so abundant I can't keep up
77. Boss at work, sweating with eyes dripping after biting into a cayenne pepper that I claimed was hot
78. Gallons of spaghetti sauce, ready for canning
79. Cases of bananas (no, not from our garden), made up into yummy bread and shared among friends


80. A new home for two chickens that turned out to be roosters (which are illegal to have in our city)

Thousand gifts, Part 5

41. round green blooms on the onions
42. twinkling stars on a clear night

43. Tommy's first birthday
44. that he lived through those first few preemie weeks, through the H1N1 flu, and on to today, his Birthday
45. how he learned to sign "please" when we fed him Birthday ice cream
46. The other kids, insisting that they, too, get to give him a birthday present
47. Tommy learning to drink through a straw on his special birthday cup from church

48. the Washington county fair
49. cows in the shoe barn
50. feather-footed chickens (how funny they look!)
51. crowned chickens (Mom! they look like a dog with those feathers on top)
52. Lisel noticing that this bird must be a duck, because it has webbed toes
53. long-haired bunnies
54. no one stepping in cow pies
55. free ice cream at the fair
56. first place jam and flower bouquets from my sister-in-law
57. watching our first horse-race
58. playing with toy tractors in piles of sawdust
59. climbing hay bales

60. chickens, sleeping soundly in their new dogloo that we found on the curb

31. So many shades of green in the summer tree tops
32. Hazy water, evaporating from sprinklers
33. One more chicken than last week (we mis-counted last week, I guess!)
34. Ladies and families that serve our church every week by cooking breakfast for all who come
35. Three different people that were kind enough to jump our van
36. Stores open late on a Sunday evening, that carry new batteries for cars and the necessary tools to change one
37. A new battery that fixed all the evening's problems with the van
38. Grass along the parking lot to play in and squish our toes into while Chester fixed the van
39. A husband that knows how to fix a van!
40. A safe arrival home, late on a Sunday evening